but okay - it's a big sports day and most fashion girls are still required to participate in order to appear normal and supportive to boyfriends, husbands, or male friends. like hey...i can do sports too guys! but it can be a problematic day for girls like us, right? lots of ill-fitting jerseys going on, lots of fried food, lots of football words being thrown around that we may or may not understand... so here's a little guide for the Fashion Chick...on getting through Super Bowl Sunday unscathed!
1. Wardrobe (duh)
You really have 3 options here. 1. bring the FASHION. 2. look chic but mostly normal. 3. look sporty.
bring the FASHION
2. The Eating Situation
we all know the food situation at Super Bowl parties is not great. fried chicken wings, mozzarella sticks, pizza, crackers with cheese (??), etc. these are things a lot of us wish we could eat but then we look at our size 4 dresses and we're like...sad. But there are options!
- go for the veggie tray! every party host always buys the obligatory veggie tray - in case anyone is on a diet or wants to feel 'healthy' and snack on vegetables before eating 52 slices of pizza. hoard the veggie tray. it's yours.
- drink tons of water, not soda, between snacks and with your meal. flush all that salt out!
- don't drink beer, hard liquor, or white wine. drink champagne or red wine. bring your own if you must. it has the least amount of sugar in it.
- no bun on your burger. obvi.
- if you cannot resist the pizza - don't be ashamed. just go for the veggie pizza so it at least has SOME nutritional value!
- use your supreme emotional knowledge to read the vibe of your friends. if they're tense...furrow your brows, even if you have no idea why they're tense. if they're all jumping around screaming "TOUCHDOWN!" - you should too! Touchdown! Go Giants!!!
- it's okay to ask questions to keep it to 3 questions per half. you don't want to sound desperate.
- when a team has the ball, they get 4 tries to move the ball 10 yards. if they don't, then the other team gets the ball. if they get past 10 yards in 4 tries or less, they keep the ball and have 4 more tries to move 10 more yards.
- the hand motions the ref makes don't make sense to anyone. don't be alarmed.
- Key Names to know: Patriots: Tom Brady (married to Gisele duh). Giants: Eli Manning (no fashion relevance but he's hot)
- "I'm for the blue team." (both blue teams this time, no dice)
- "Is that pizza gluten free?" (they know it's not, you know it's not...don't make a big deal about your gluten drama)
- "Are you guys excited for fashion week?" (they're not)
- "Who designs the cheerleader's uniforms? They're so tacky." (being chic is not the point for football cheerleaders)
- "Is the game over yet?"
- "I don't drink beer." (beer is sports people's thing...so don't hate on it. just politely refuse, no need to elaborate)
- "I'm so bored." (this is the holy grail of football games, it's not boring. suck it up and act like you care, even if you don't)